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You’ve surely seen them. The people in your life that rarely look at the glass as half empty. To them, having a half-empty glass just means they can to fill it to the brim with whatever they choose. But to a person who is discouraged, depressed, and feeling victimized by endless defeats, a Constantly Contented Connie can be absolutely irritating to be around.
We commonly refer to the two attitudes as Victor and Victim Mindsets.
Victors. They have decided to be just that. They have already decided that they will play the long game. Sure, they remember the defeats, the heartaches, the horrible times in the past. They aren’t ignorant and naïve. They know sad times are going to roll over and flatten them again. But here’s the difference. They know a difficult time can only defeat them as much, and as long, as they allow it to defeat them. So, during the discouraging times, they concentrate on the good parts in their life, wherever they can find them.
A tornado blows away their home – they thank God that their family is alive. A fire takes the life of their loved ones – even in their overwhelming grief, they find ways to be grateful for other things and other loved ones left in their life. They lose their only means of income – they invariably open their heart to others and realize they can be grateful for so many other things and people in their lives. While they determinedly begin searching for a new way of supporting themselves.
They simply refuse to quit. And because they won’t, they keep marching ahead. Oh, yes, of course they feel pain and discouragement – they’re not happy little robots who can only get in touch with their positive emotions. But the difference is this. They have determined within themselves to not become victimized by the difficulties of their life. They know if they do, they will be destined to feeling hopeless. Always feeling victimized.
On the other hand is the Victim. A person who has been hurt badly – over and over again in life. And at some point they began to give up hoping that they will catch a break, that life will be good to them. And unfortunately, hopelessness can be the birthplace of anger, which is usually the grandparent of depression. Not a great way to live life.
A victim mindset can be changed. But only if you want to change and will work at it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your circumstances will automatically become the stuff of dreams. But it does mean that you won’t have to live your life just knowing that the worst will always happen.
Ongoing pessimism is your enemy. The killer of dreams and the ambusher of any optimism and happiness that life can hand to you.
Give yourself the chance to win – even in loss.
